Creepers (AKA Phenomena) - If you think you're about to watch a movie about a young girl (Jennifer Connelly) who has a mysterious ability to control insects, you're only partially right. (If you think spiders are insects, you're a little more right, though.) Creepers is all over the syuzhet map. For a good portion of the film, Jennifer's bug abilities disappear completely. Inspector Geiger (Patrick Bauchau) is noticeably absent for the middle stretch as well. On the up side, the Giorgio Armani costumes are a marvel all their own. Add that to the series of false endings (one involves a monkey) and you've got yourself some entertainment.
Demons - For all you aspiring monster movie-makers out there, once the first demon shows its face, the audience expects the ball to start rolling, so don't drag it out. And while a long and implausible motorcycle-in-the-theater scene might seem like a good idea, trust me, it's not. Mr. Argento, what were you thinking? Why did the helicopter fall from the ceiling? Why was it covered in dust? Heck, why did the demons emit bright green fluids from their mouths?
I guess it's possible that these questions are sufficiently answered in Demons 2, but something (Nostradamus, perhaps?) tells me I shouldn't get my hopes up.
- RD
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